No More BC - Ever!

I went for my pre-op "stuff" today and I am a bit freaked out. I think that it is great that hospitals like to get the registration and what-not out of the way as to not waste time on surgery day, but now I have three days to think about everything.

I knew that I was only going to have one child. Before I even had Roo, I knew that one would be it for this girl. All of the physical things I have anticipated at my age are coming to fruition. Even though I don't breastfeed, my once perky boobies are starting to sag. I have lumps and bumps that I didn't have before and just don't seem to want to go away. I am tired. Like FATIGUED. When I am feeding the little stinker at 3:30 in the morning, I have glimpses into my past of closing the bars at that time and would keep drinking until the sun came up. Instead of listening to the gentle blowing of the ceiling fan, I hear little farts coming from the portable crib next to the bed that rumble like a motorboat. I look forward to doctors appointments because I shave my legs, put on deoderant and occasionally makeup.

Why I am in this negative mood you ask? Well, last night Cpt J was sitting watching TV, Roo in his vibrating chair and me attempting to keep my eyes open at 7:00 PM.... I mentioned that I was going to lay down. J then informed me that he would come and wake me up when the baby needed to be fed. Jerkosaidwhat? When I inquired about his laziness, he informed me that he had been at work and I was home all day. Kissmyassyousaidwhat? Eeeewww... not good.

So, as of Thursday I will never have the need for birth control again. That sex should be interesting....

Cpt J's wife is an only child too

Mommy Juice Time

Ah, that time of the day to sit down with some mommy juice and catch up with the internet world. Actually, my only connection to adult communication outside of my family is via the computer. Pretty sad, but then I take a look a this face....J is gone for the weekend flying a charter. I decided not to invite heli-mom-nana over to prove I can survive two-and-a-half days alone. I have been ok for a day and a night, but at this time I am creeping up on night two. I walked the beast with roo in a Bjorn which was quite interesting picking up poop. I am sure my nosy neighbors think I am gross and getting poop too close to my child. Well, they should have been there at 2 AM when I went back to bed, after thoroughly washing my hands, and woke up with green poop under my fingernails from an early morning diaper change. Blech.

I have managed to toast an english muffin, drink three cups of cold coffee and a peach today. FINALLY, the bugger is napping so I can drink my drank and have some snack sticks dipped in rondele. God forbid I should attempt to cook something, he will surely wake just as it is prepared.

The coolest thing happened today - H laughed. Like really a hearty, giggle, little baby laugh. I was playing with his toes and he went silly. Lord, thank you for such an amazing gift when I needed it.

While I am happy to have the house to myself, I am feeling the bitter Betty that J is in another state, with the crew watching a football game and having a couple of cocktails. I wanted to rip his lungs out over the phone when he told me his plans, but instead I sucked it up and remembered that I get the privilege of bonding with my child, instead of the bartender.

This SAHM mom business is pretty tough, kudos to those of you with more than one young child at home. I can't imagine what your day must be like.

Cpt J's wife is ALWAYS sticky

Farts

My son is a fart machine. It has to be the funniest thing I have seen in a long time when he is trying to poop, so funny in fact, we have started taping it. Poor guy, wait until his first girlfriend comes along.

I have permanent bags under my eyes and I am back to feeling like I smell all the time. Perhaps it is the once again change in hormones, but my deoderant isn't working and my new perfume of choice is a mix of formula and watered down fruit juice. Yes, I give my 7 week old watered down Mott's for Tot's fruit juice. And yes, I have even started putting a little cereal in his formula at night. For the record, it is not working. I heard an ugly rumor that putting cereal in his formula would give me an extra minute or two of sleep, yeah, no.

J has a line next month, woop woop! Again, I love my husband dearly, but this spending 24/7 together is just a breeding ground for fights. Like, nasty, ugly, I hate you, get out fights. Honestly, I know it makes him happier to fly than to be a househusband. So, yay J! He has also decided to forego an upgrade until the base and lines are guaranteed. No commuting for this family for a little longer. In case you wonder why I refer to him as Captain J, he was a captain for another airline when I started this blog. =)

Spending a few days with heli-mom-nana. I don't know how much more of this Florida heat I can take.

Cpt J's wife over-and-out

I'm Being Negative - Deal

Life is changing. I am getting my mojo, or as some like to call it my "bitchiness" back. Not to complain or anything, but my life was flopped upside down in a matter of minutes and I am slowly figuring out my place in the world again.

J and I put off getting pregnant for 7.5 years of our marriage, 9 if you count from the first time we had sex. I abused my body for 21 years with birth control pills just so that I wouldn't bring a child in the world in order to get "prepared." I worked my way through my industry to get into management and make the big bucks, we bought a house, saved our pennies, PLANNED. J suffered through commuting, living in dumps and surviving off of credit cards so that I could stay in Florida to establish a future for us.

I found out I was pregnant in October only after a few months of trying. It was the best day of my life, and I was prepared to give this kid the world. Four months later, I lost my job. The next six months were spent staying at home and living on the minimums. Now, here we are. I have the most perfect little angel in the world. My husband has been amazing and I haven't had to live without much. I want more and I wonder why it is never enough.

We will get it all back. I am hell-bent and determined to fight my way back to the top. I will not sit back on my laurels and accept the position I am in.

Cpt J's wife needed to get it off her chest

Private

I am going private as an experiment. I think that there might be someone who has infiltrated my blog that I prefer not to share with.

I hope you will continue to follow me =)

Randomony

September schedule = reserve. So, while most pilot wives are thrilled with the guarantee pay and the hubby most likely home every day.... I am ready to pull out my hair. I love Cpt J, I do... but the kitchen is not big enough for the both of us. And, we have already started to establish handling baby duty and needs differently. He is amazing. Never complains when boo starts crying at all hours and the beast needs to go outside. Actually J never complains about anything, that's probably one of the reasons I love him so much. But, we are just different. We both want things done a certain way, and at least when one or the other is at work, the other doesn't know how it is getting done, just that it is done.

Going to the outlaws on Monday. J will just never understand why I can't warm up to the whole idea of being a big-'ole-happy-family. Seriously, opposites do not always attract. Anyway, football season is here and our HUGE game is Monday night. H will get to sport his new outfit, pics to follow.

I am really glad to see that the summer is coming to an end. I am still fat, so therefore I am still boiling... ALL THE TIME!

Cpt J's wife looks like a dork on Wii Fit