Jello Injection

Induction tomorrow night, more to follow.

Trial Run

I had my first false alarm on Friday. Yep, I packed up my bags, had my mom come over and put Cpt J on high alert as he was flying. I have been so lucky to have avoided major swelling or any complications during this pregnancy. Well, I woke up Friday morning with a swollen face, a headache and feet tripled in size - I could hardly walk. I diagnosed myself with preeclampsia and off I went.

Ok, so, like 5 hours later... nothing is wrong and I am not even dialated. Are you kidding? I am THRILLED nothing is wrong with the baby, but can you induce? I am already here, dressed down and hooked up, lets go folks. Nope. Three days later and here I sit, parked on the couch with swollen everything and diarrehea (sp?)... OBGYN just called to confirm my appointment for tomorrow. Bitches, I really am sick of seeing them every week.

Trying to coordinate labor and flying is really a gigantic pain. At least Cpt J is off for the next five days and helicopter mom decided to stay. We will all just continue to sit and stare at each other, bags by the door, ready to roll...

Cpt J's wife wants to meet her son.... NOW

Still Sitting

Had an ultrasound yesterday. Unfortunately, can't believe I am saying this... I didn't have an exam because of a NASTY bladder infection. I have been taking antibiotics, but I guess they didn't want to take any additional chances shoving a hand up there.

The ultrasound did nothing for me. Sounds selfish, but I was hoping to see this little guy with his face pressed up against the screen, begging to come out. What I saw was a confusing little bag of bones with a perfectly round head. Oh, and the doc with no personality, thought it was SUPER cute to take a still shot of my little man's "jewels." GREAT news is, fluids all look great as well as the placenta. He is head down, ready to emerge, but still just hanging out. I would never have guessed as much as he kicks, punches and sticks what is apparently his butt up, in the air. I get this little lump above my belly button and it will just stick out for a few seconds. Yep, a butt shot.

So, here I sit. Cpt J wouldn't even let me roll up the outside hose. On a side note, my brilliant husband cut back some tree limbs and has tried planting them to see if they will take root. Um, what? Dude, so not going to work. Sometimes I wonder....

Today J kicked into SUPER amazing mode. He is off running some errands and by the time he returns he would like for me to have started working on packing my bag. What? Hello? Cutie.

I am so done. Just done.

Cpt J's wife butt has officially spread to the size of an over populated state.

Taunting Little Ticker

I cannot wait to remove that annoying little "baby countdown ticker" staring at me over there on the right hand side of the screen. It looks at me, taunting me, "your still not there sweetheart!!!" I know I could easily remove it with a click of the button, but it has become like a badge of honor. I think it started at like 209 days or something insane like that when I first put it up. There is no way that I am giving into it now, not with 17 days to go.

I know that I am being totally impatient, that I still have this magic 17 day number to reach, but I don't know how much more I can take. I think I got my hopes up when I found out that I had GD that they would most likely want me to deliver early. Well, leave it to me to keep my sugar under control and actually lose weight. Can't do that when I am not pregnant, what's the deal man?? So, we go for an ultrasound on Tuesday to see what the little bugger is up to. I think he is just smart and isn't ready to venture out in to this 100+ degree weather -smarty.

Cpt J got his schedule for August, it rocks. For those of you rowing in the same boat, try to keep hubs from using FMLA. What a pain in the ass. J let company know a few weeks ago about my "condition," and they have been great (knock on wood) about working with him to use sick and PTO to avoid the mounds of paperwork and lack of actual income from FMLA. It works like short term disability... you get paid jack crap. Personally, I paid in to short term disability for years and would have only received a teeny-tiny portion of my salary. Works out, it is about as much as unemployment. Thank you to the State of Florida. Anyway...

J will be able to be home for at least a week and then works nights the duration of the month. Yippee!

Why does my cockatiel only jump off his perch when J is not home? Little nut case bit the bajeezus out of me scooping him back up. That damn bird sits on his shoulder ALL DAY long and never busts a move. As soon as I am alone and turn my back on him, he's on the floor... walking towards the beast who is ready to pluck him feather by feather. It's a conspiracy.

Cpt J's wife sitting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting

Three More Fridays 'Til Margaritas!

I have never seen Cpt J panic... until yesterday. He is the calm one, the cool headed one, yeah right!

We were sitting watching a movie. Well, he was sitting. I have to get up, sit down, move one leg, move the other, rub my belly, rub my back - you get the picture. I will occasionally get these "electric shocks" if you will, on various parts of my front. Lately, the electric shock has been shooting down my pelvis, which I am convinced is a hand reaching out of my vajayjay. Anway, it usually goes away pretty quick, but yesterday it lingered. I sort of leaned forward, let my belly hang between my legs and just sort of panted. The look of terror on J's face was priceless. He jumped up, went outside to smoke, paced back and forth... he freaked.

Once he calmed down, we discussed that he needs to get it together. Like seriously, I am the one who can't handle stress and I will be a little too busy to keep him calm. I never thought I would see this side of him. He is sure he will be ok, but I am beginning to wonder. He calls from remote places in the country and asks me how I am feeling. Dude, I will never tell you the truth. I will spring it on you when you get home, or you receive a call from the hospital. You have become a basket case.

Weekly OB tomorrow, please give me some good news!!!!

Cpt J's wife has approximately three Fridays until she can have a margarita

Mish Mosh

So, the OB didn't see my humor in "swallowing prey" comment. I thought it was a great description, but apparently I am just a maniac with too much time on my hands. They were also not intrigued by my "reverse morning sickness" theory either. I just have a child pressing on my organs and that is why I want to barf all the time.

Cpt J took me out on a date a couple of nights ago. The server was pregnant, the lady behind us had one of those kids that kept turning around in the booth to talk to us and is trying to have another and the check out lady at the grocery store is pregnant. Poor J, I felt compelled to apologize as he is surrounded by constant pregnancy. Anyway, I started sobbing before we left. I felt fat, had nothing to wear (whatever), and didn't want to embarrass him by waddling in to the restaurant. In true Cpt J form, he reassured me, found me something to wear and made me feel beautiful. We had a great time. He is also very excited about the fact that he can assist in "priming my vagina." Enough said, look that one up.

Thank you to our friends and family that have bought onesies for babes. But, can I please have one that says, "future doctor," "future lawyer," "future sports phenom." I don't want the munchkin to be a pilot. Unless he goes to Annapolis and becomes an officer and ... you see where I am going. My husband is brilliant, has a million dollar education, has the lives of 150+ people each flight in his hands, lives the dream (blech), but has just gotten over the poverty line in the past few years. He will be paying off student loans for the next 10,000 years and would still be a nomad if it weren't for me keeping put. Ok, I am not going to continue my tangent, you get the idea. So, please no more "future aviator" onesies.

Cpt J's wife has a sweaty ass - all the time!

Funnies

A few funny moments the past few days:

I thought I was in labor (or hoping I was) while in the shower the other night. Honestly, showering is the only time I am naked, so these things may have been occuring and I am just now noticing. Anyway, I looked down between my boobs and watched my stomach as it rolled around in to this bizarre shape. The only way to describe it is like a snake swallowing her live prey. I screamed for Cpt J who was outside smoking - I waddled out, naked, banged on the slider and beckoned him to come inside. While like a lightening bolt he was there watching - calm as a cucumber (has anyone actually seen an upset cucumber?). So, it came and went. No baby, only Braxton Hicks.

We went for the car seat and stroller yesterday. yippee! My cousin's pram cost them 700 pounds - WTF? Our's was under $200, the whole shabang! Anyway, I picked up a diaper genie after returning something God awful that my MIL purchased, and out we went. Well, J crashed into a cart propped up against this cement barrier thing outside and busted his eyebrow on the corner of the box. He was in such a "nerve induced" hurry to get out of there and with the boxes in the way, he crashed... it was freakin' hilarious. Thank God for the pantyliner, I peed again.

Cpt J's wife wishing America a Happy Birthday

Can I Still Call It Cooter?

I have been nauseous, is there such a thing as delayed morning sickness?

Cpt J has a head cold of some sort. This guy is so lucky, two DAYTIME severe congestion and he has been asleep for hours.

I am now addicted to Edy's lime frozen fruit bars. Due to my SUGAR PROBLEM, I am limited to two a day. I could eat those little suckers morning, noon and night.

My ankles have started to swell and I am HOT all the time (even in the air conditioning).

I craved a cigarette for the first time in 35 weeks yesterday.

Cpt J and I danced to Alabama in the nursery this morning. That was the first time in a long time we have slow danced without him wanting sex.

I have started to worry that J will be in the air when I go into labor.

I keep waiting for the nesting phase... Let it fall where it may and I will get it later, the total opposite of who I used to be.

I can't believe how forgetful I have become.

Next week I go for my first vaggie feel and extended fetal monitoring. Can't wait to hear the little boo's heartbeat for 20 minutes straight, but not looking forward to Dr. C's hand up my cooter. Now that I am almost 40 and going to be someone's mom can I still refer to my va-j-j as a cooter and other random words?

Cpt J's wife at 35 weeks, 3 days