CAUTION - Do Not Listen Today If Certain Words Offend You

My music selection today uses several negative words, so if this offends you - please turn off the sound. But I really love the song. Moving On.

Even though I couldn't watch the Hurricanes play last night, they won 52-7. Shocker. Did I mention they were playing some team called Charleston Southern? Charleston like SC or Charleston like WV? Next week is the University of Florida - at the Swamp. Crap.

So, Cpt J and I had a "team (insert last name)" meeting when I got home yesterday. I had to get a few things off my chest.

Cpt J's wife:

I feel unappreciated, occassionally disrespected and taken advantage of
I should be able to watch reality shows without listening to your BS
Adults are not supposed to play video games for hours and hours and hours
I hate that you eat my Cape Cod chips without replacing them
I know longer want to "unball" your socks before I wash them
Please stop wearing my flip flops
Please use the damn recycling bin
Chips and queso are not a meal
Please clean off the toothpaste splat on the mirror
I bought cleaner without bleach so you can use it without destroying anything
You don't need to use a new cup every time you get water
You don't rub my back anymore
Thong underwear are not always comfortable; therefore, I will not be wearing them all the time
Yes, I bought another bag and a pair of shoes - stop asking

Cpt J:

"So, what you are saying is you won't be buying anymore chips and queso?"

Cpt J's wife will be seeking an 89 year old millonaire for companionship this weekend ;)

Another Biotch Heading Into Port

I shall start my post today on a good note! The garage was cleaned! Ok, well sort of. A girl can't have everything. Cpt J did some work to a car he is refurbishing, redoing, rebuilding, whatever.... fluid, rust and just junk got all over the garage floor due to his lack of the ability to use floor covering. This project took about a month and the "stuff" was never cleaned up. So.... this mess kept getting brought in via our feet in to the house. Our house is only 4 years old - let's give it some more time before it gets junked up. Well, the "stuff" is now gone but the stains remain. Like a shitty reminder every time I pull in to the garage. Here's my chance - I TOLD YOU!!!

As you can see my first sentence was positive and we will go down hill from here. Because our college football team kinda STINKS, the game tonight is on ESPN360. Ok, so what the hell is that channel? I call our digital provider which also STINKS and they don't carry it. When I tell J this he says, "see, that's why we should get satellite." This is why my one eyebrow is forever in an arch.. WHAT?? Satellite you want now? I love this man, I love this man, I love this man.

Oh my God, tomorrow is Friday right?? YAY, a night alone!! I think I may make a frozen pizza, hhhmmmm and maybe Chipotle for lunch.. there goes the few pounds I may or may not have dropped. At least I can zip my pants this morning. My co-worker asked me what was going on around my mid-section yesterday. I looked down and realized the gigantic safety pin that was holding my pants closed was sticking out through my shirt. Oh joy.

Disregard my previous concerns about TS Gustav. Now I am watching Hannah. I am telling you, after all the hype about the plans that J has made the next few weekends..... it's going to be a bummer.

Cpt J's wife obsessing over storm tracking

Clean The Stupid Garage

The list is no longer working. I hate to have the ever dreaded "talks" but, Cpt J is a huge slacker on his days off. I have ONE simple task that I have been asking him to complete for weeks and he has every reason under the sun not to do it. It better be done today. I am sorry to sound so harsh, but if he doesn't do it I will do it myself and then the battle will be on.

He doesn't fly again until Friday, off Saturday, works Sunday and Monday and then RESERVE. He keeps making plans every weekend that he is actually off. Granted, they are fun plans in the end, but there is a lot of preparation for me. We are hosting two football games at our house, a concert at HOB, an out-of-town football game and a night at my mom's (when I will fit that in God knows). The outlaws will be in for one of the games, I have to go to the gyno, and in the middle of all this work!! I am being a bit of a bitter betty today that Cpt J is still in bed at this hour and I am at my desk waiting for my hideous client to stop by at his leisure.

On a good note, even with this humid weather my hair looks great. My new BFF neighbor has only waved from her yard and I think I have lost a few pounds (at least I keep telling myself that).

So... Cpt J's wife seeing the good and the bad today

Laugh, Laugh, Laugh

Cpt J and I are in a weird place. I think the full "adjustment" has not happened yet now that he is home every day. He has been really getting under my skin the past few days and the thought of throttling him has crossed my mind.

I know that coming off the pill after 17 years has changed me. I know that I need to go back to the dr. to get a higher dosage of anxiety medication. I know that my insomnia is out of control and those meds aren't working anymore either. I resolved myself to my mania along time ago, so this is nothing new. I hate that word "manic." But, I am really starting to think I am losing it. I just want to laugh, laugh, laugh all the time.

So, I take a lot of deep breathes and mumble a lot about Cpt J's lack of "assistance." I have given up on asking him to clean anything or fix anything. Not that a lot of things need cleaned or fixed, but pushing the vacuum every now and then would be a plus. Aaacckk...

There is another hurricane out there. Damnit. If this ruins any of my plans the next few weekends I am going to stand out in the wind and rain and laugh, laugh, laugh.

On another note, phony phonerton send me an email saying how much she missed me. I about fell out of my chair gasping. Are you kidding me? Of course being the biotch that I am, I wrote her back telling her of all the goings on in my world. Besides my loony-toon status, I really do have some pretty cool things happening.

Well, Cpt J managed to rangle his schedule yet again so that we could go out of town for a football game. It's amazing the strings he can pull when it is something he wants to do. hhhhmmmm

Two more days until football and five more days until reserve starts.

Cpt J's wife sitting in a padded cell, laughing, laughing, laughing...

We Got Some Canes Over Here!

I am jumping on Mandy's excitement - Hurricane football is 3 days away! We are playing St. Mary's School for the Blind (Charleston Southern) - so we better freakin' win!

Just an FYI.... I am a 'Cane by proxy. I didn't go to school there, but fell in love with them the same year I fell in love with Cpt J. By the way, we haven't won since then!! Go figure!

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great week.

Cpt J's wife looking forward to Thursday!

Reality Shows

I have a confession. A loooovvvveeee reality shows. From Judge Judy to Big Brother... I can sit and watch that stuff all day. Cpt J insulted my intelligence by informing me that all of those shows are ridiculous and only someone who loves drama and nonsense watch them. Ok buddy, back up the bus. WHAT?? Do I sit and insult you because your butt never leaves the couch watching an all day marathon of Pinks on the speed channel? Deadliest Catch? World's Dirtiest Jobs? What the heck is the difference? Why are your "reality" shows any better than mine? He really ticked me off with that one.

I do not know if I am going to survive a month of reserve and it hasn't even started yet.

On a good note my new best friend neighbor didn't come over last night and I bought a new fun top and what may be my new fun dress yesterday on a GIGANTIC sale yesterday.

The yuck factor is up today because it is still raining.

Cpt J's wife trying to stay dry

My New Best Friend

Well, he didn't put up plywood - lucky for him. I did end up getting out of the office a few hours early to guess what? Nada, Zip, Zero, Zilch. It was like a normal afternoon rain storm, just a little windier. Now that sucker is trying to gain strength and "boomerang" back through, a little further North. Crap.

My neighbor that came over the other night ended up on the back porch with his wife last night. Just a reminder, we have NEVER spoken to these people until the past few days. They have lived there for over a year and I even turned them to the homeowner association because of the trash can and recycling bin that never left their back porch. Funny, they mentioned last night that "someone" had turned them in. Cpt J and I didn't even make eye contact with each other and just went "hhhmmm, wow." Yikes. I am sorry, I don't feel bad about it. I will just never admit I am the one that did it.

So, turns out that neighbor wife used to be married to a pilot. Here's the shocker, she had nothing bad to say other than he had too big of an ego. "It just didn't work out." Ok, score points for her. She even said that I was still a baby!! Like in a good way! I told her that she is my new best friend. She claims she thought I was in my 20's and would have no interest in talking to a woman that is so much older than me. What?? Oh - My - God I love this woman. Honestly, I am dreading that my new best friend lives right across the back yard. I don't want her assuming she can just come over any time now. I like to sit in my pajamas with my coffee and cig in the morning or afternoon or night... I guess I will have to get rid of the tank with all the food stains on the front now - damn.

Cpt J is off for the next few days. I left him a list. I am big on the whole list thing otherwise nothing gets done. He is so proud of himself for marking the items off one by one. He refuses to fix the vacuum again, so that will be my lunchtime purchase today. I believe that ALL vacuums should suck up EVERYTHING. Can't understand why I keep breaking them... hahahaha.

Partner of a Pilot - make an animated picture of yourself like I did. It really does make you feel better:) There is an empty office next to mine if you are interested....!

Cpt J's wife feeling like a cartoon today

Storm Preparedness

I have completely relinquished all storm preparedness to Cpt J. Now, I realize that it is just a tropical storm, but the media in this state are like sheer maniacs. 24 hour coverage of Fay. I was hoping for a great excuse not to darken my office doors this morning, but here I am. Cpt J is making the rounds at Lowes and Walmart. For what? Not sure, all I needed was a new garage door opener battery. Don't get me wrong, we can always use the water and extra batteries - but, if I come home to boarded up windows he is going down. This was a HUGE argument 4 years ago when we had one Hurricane after the other bare down on us. Our house was brand new and I didn't want him drilling gigantic holes in to the house. Hopefully you know what I am talking about... our houses are painted with some sort of textured paint that as a human you can never duplicate. When you pull out a screw or nail it rips out a hole ten times the size of what you put in. And then you can't fill it and paint it because it isn't textured the way it started. You can try and try... but never succeed. There must be a 100 of those plastic anchors strategically placed inside and outside of my house. Yeah, yeah you know what I am talking about!

So anyway, he takes this stuff very seriously. He has called me a zillion times to see if I am coming home early. My same response every time, "I will see what I can do." It really pisses me off that my life seems so less important because I don't have children. I have complained about this here before, but it hasn't been a problem for a while. Well..... everytime schools close I get left to hold down the fort because I don't have kids to stay home with. So, I now pull the dog card. My dog is neurotic and psycho and cannot be left home alone without supervision. He will destroy my house if left alone. Therefore it is important that I am able to leave early or not come in at all. It doesn't work. Especially since they all know that Cpt J is not flying. Did I mention that Cpt J is a pilot AND a weather man? If one more person asks where the storm is going because Cpt J must know all this information, I am going to melt down.

Just a couple more weeks before college football, YAY! A couple more weeks to a paid holiday, YAY! A couple more weeks until Cpt J is home every day on reserve, Ewwww...

Cpt J's wife happy that today was the last day

Looking For Answers

Well, today is worse. I think I am going to go get a pregnancy test at lunch. Could I be feeling symptoms at only a few weeks?

Out of no where I just started crying about my dad this morning. He passed away several years ago and I miss him more and more every day. Maybe it is because my mom relies on me for almost everything and I give her all I can because (1) I love her deeply, she is my best friend and (2) my dad would expect that from me. She is very financially and socially independent, but I swear she "runs" everything by me. Should she pay that? Is this necessary? Why did someone say THAT?? God, give me strength sometimes.

Or, maybe I just still need him around. His life was cut too short and my time was taken from me.

I seriously need to find some "normal" friends. Thankfully Cpt J will be home this weekend to entertain me. The past few times we have visited our friends, his wife has exhausted me to the point that I cringe when the suggestion is made to visit. But, in order to maintain SOME sanity before football season starts, I will give in and hang out.

In a good note, the weather is starting to cool off - one degree cooler makes me happy!

Two more days!

Cpt J's wife feeling the pain

Depressed?

I am feeling a lot better today. I am typically a very happy person, but I have noticed lately that I am maybe - depressed? It just seems like nothing can come to me in moderation, it is all or nothing. This shit with my teeth is insane, the whole nonsense with Cpt J's family and this situation at work, have just really gotten me down.

Turns out I may have "fractured" the root under my crown. Here is a bottle of 800mg Ibubrofen, if it still hurts next week I am off to an endodontist. Probably should have done that from the start.

Cpt J came home yesterday. In wonderful husband fashion, he had the pooch fed, TV off and a glass of wine waiting for me. In bitcho wifey fashion I ignored him, looked at the mail and reluctantly gave him a hug and kiss. I am sorry - I am still really ticked off at that point.

We go outside to relax and Cpt J proceeds to inform me that the lines have been reduced at his base and he will most likely sit reserve next month. How would I feel about taking a few days off to go visit his sister? "WHAT?? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND??" I really don't know what the hell is going on, but I have lost it and several choice statements and words cross my lips and he looks at me like a beaten puppy. Needless to say, I took my glass of wine in the shower and drank while the hot water poured down my back.

Cpt J fell asleep in our spare room last night. I woke up this morning to him curled next to me - like a child. I just looked at him, stared at him for a while. He has been put in a horrible position. He is the youngest child, an accident if you will. For some reason he has been designated as the one everyone goes to in a crisis. Including his parents. It's awful. I plan on apologizing for my behavior tonight - not for having my feelings about things, but for the way I treated him when he got home.

Phony phonerton has 3 more days. I caught her in another lie yesterday and gave her the evil stare down. Several girls in the office decided that they wanted to get her a going away gift. I am completely opposed to this idea, because she will not be grateful for anything. Not even a wad of cash. So, and airline gift card was decided on so that she would have some "help" to purchase a ticket when she comes back for treatment. Ok people.... She is not coming back for treatment, her loser husband will use the gift card and they don't need the money. She cries poverty, but they are profiting by renting their house to some suckers for more than it is worth, she hasn't paid taxes from another state in over 5 years, she is a regular on Craigslist selling items that her husband got from an old job (stole from an old job). AAACCCKKK!!!

I am counting the minutes. I am taking my xanax. It's almost the weekend.

Cpt J's wife on meds

Just Turn On The Sprinklers

I am actually thrilled to go to a dentist appointment today.

I am still bitter-betty about Cpt J's decision to stay with his family for the past few days. He is supposed to come home tomorrow - I am thinking of having the locks changed. Seriously, a phone call telling me you are on the way to the beach is not going to help my mood.

I have about a million dollars worth of dental work in the past couple of years. Not sure what the hell happened, dental hygiene is my religion. But, some how, some way I ended up with fillings, crowns, an implant... I am to the point of ripping them all out. Not really, it just sucks. If one more person tells me my dentist is a quack, I am going to lose it. It's like they may be telling me what I already know. So, a tooth that has had a root canal hurts. I know that sounds absurd, it does to me too. Maybe it is one of the teeth next to it. More to follow.

Phony-phonerton is sweet talking me today. Listen chick, I see right through you. A few of you have asked me details.. here is just a preview:

1. Your son is not "gifted." He can't read, that is why he is in a "special" class.

2. You did not end your affair last year, you were with Mr. Suave Friday night.

3. You don't come from "old money."

4. You haven't given our assistant part of your gratuities like you have been telling me you have.
While this is not required, don't tell me you have been and then when I do the girl looks at me like
I have ten heads and informs me "she has never done this for me!!"

5. Don't tell everyone that you are not having sex with your husband because you want a divorce,
that you are using the "ring" (for Mr. Suave) and then turn up pregnant.

While these things may seem like none of my business or petty - just don't bother telling me this crap. I don't ask - she has been telling me this stuff. Then, slowly but surely I look like a big dummy because I have been believing it. And the lies don't end there.

This week needs to get better - thank you to everyone for your support. I stopped at the grocery store last night, bought 2 bottles of wine (the big ones) and smokes. I drank and smoked by myself last night - fun. The little snots that live next door to me kept playing on a tree that borders our yards. I love that tree - so, I turned on the sprinklers. hahaha!

Cpt J's wife starting to feel satisfied

A Well Needed Rant

I am currently not speaking to Cpt J. Well, not literally... but I keep conversations short and have been giving him the cold shoulder via phone for the past few days. Now, I mention via phone because he has decided to extend his visit with the sister and estranged nephew for a few more days and I am LIVID! He just doesn't get why this pisses me off. It's like the fact that we have a house, a lawn, responsibilities, are not important when his FAMILY is around. Nevermind that I am trying to get pregnant, the garage is a disaster from him working on his car and because of all the rain the grass is up to my ASS!

Just when I was starting to tolerate these people, this has to happen. I have never in my life met such selfish, self-absorbed people. And the sad part? Cpt J just DOESN'T SEE IT! I hope that I am not wearing blinders and he is like this too. From what I see, Cpt J is one of those make-everybody-happy-types. He hates confrontation and just goes with the flow. He rarely freaks about anything. Well, because I freak about EVERYTHING, I have decided he is the one that is going to explode some day. Sometimes he is too sweet, too friendly, too cool. TODAY I AM GOING TO SCREAM.

Ok, thanks for the vent.

So super, duper, phony pants has one week left. I can't wait. I am just so done with the fake, I am not really who I say I am, Kasper suit wearing, affair having, who is really the father of my kid, co-worker. I can't believe after all these years I feel this way. Furthermore, I can't believe I got caught up in her lies. Such a scammer.

So, on the aviation front - Cpt J works nights this month. He has a pretty good schedule until the end of the month where he has almost a week off. If he busts out that he is going to visit his family I am going to file for divorce.

On a AWESOME note, a fellow blogger has introduced me to some amazing music by Little Jackie. I love it!

Have a great week - Cpt J's wife who is not speaking to him

Phony

I really can't stand a phony. Not like a phony who does a good job of being a phony, but one that is so clearly not who they say they are.

I like to think that I am brilliant at figuring people out. It is one of my few talents. I am a great listener and I absorb everything. Well, I got duped. Someone who I thought was sincere turns out to be a big fat liar. I think I saw it coming but didn't want to believe it. The lies were so believable that I never did a lot of investigating, but over the past few months her whole world is coming down. There was a time that I actually had a jealous pang over her "world." She dresses nice, has a gorgeous home, everyone loves her. WELL!!!! Turns out it is all a front.

Cpt J says he warned me that it was all too perfect. Damnit I hate when he is right.

Cpt J's disappointed wife

Fun Top

It's going to be a long week. My co-worker with cancer has decided to resign and move back up North. Cpt J is working nights this month and will be visiting family without me this weekend. I woke up this morning with some weirdo stomach thing and it is hotter than hell outside. I am still not PG and if one more person asks, "how is that situation going?" I will punch them.

Hey, but I paid all my bills this morning, I have on a super cute top and my hair looks awesome! My gay calls it a "fun top." I feel fun. I didn't mention that my gay and I were on the outs for a few days last week. He was supposed to pick me up at my office on his way out to lunch. He told me 11:30. I was there at 11:29, 11:30, 11:45... you get the picture. Well, I left on my own. Oh God, don't piss a gay man off by leaving him without calling. Even though he was wrong, he some how managed to spin it around that I was a rude cow for going without him. Whatever, after some air hair tossing and smirks (he has VERY short hair, so he can't flip it) I have my gay back. He can't stand to not talk to me for too long.

Anyway, Cpt J will be visiting with his sister and estranged nephew that are visiting from out-of-state. That is one big, dramatic story that just exhausts me to think about. I have an out of "free jail pass" this weekend to spend time with my family. Cheers!

Hope that everyone has a great Monday!

Cpt J in her fun top

Miscellaneous

Well, slap my ass and call me Nancy! Such diverse responses and PM's from ladies about my last post. I want to reiterate that my feelings are based on my experience, and it was not to insinuate that ALL pilots are bad. Most of them are. Period.

Cpt J is still holding a line this month (see me sighing with relief). There doesn't seem to be any negative stuff going around about his airline for now, so (see me sighing with relief) we will continue to keep our fingers crossed.

I dropped a frozen chicken on my foot last night so I have been limping around all day. I am convinced my toe is broken, at least that is what I keep telling everyone. Honestly, it hurts like a b*tch and is turning various colors. Fabulous, thank God for flip flops.

Hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend.

Cpt J's limping wife