A few of the forums I read often have yet again brought up the flight attendant discussion. Why are some chicks just so freakin' stupid? First of all, if you read forums/blogs about aviation - you are reading about pilots and their SO's. Second, don't "assume" that your SO is so head-over-heels for you that he won't cheat. Finally, regardless of the laws you lay down, if they are going to cheat they will cheat - REGARDLESS!
You are the luckiest SO if you have never, ever, considered that your pilot is off doing something he shouldn't. You are the strongest person I know if you can sit at home for days on end with nothing to do and not get pissed that he is off with people you don't know. Staying in hotels, going out to dinner... If you think that you are immune to the up's and down's of this lifestyle you are living in a bubble.
Perhaps my experience is different. Here we go - I am older than my hubbie. He worked for a regional, based in another state and shared a crash pad with pilots AND flight attendants. The FA's were 19 - 23 years old, which is younger than Cpt J. The reality is this - the girls were barely out of high school, most of them came from small towns and were star struck with the life of travel, and THEY WANTED TO HOOK UP WITH A PILOT! Now, this was many years ago. Cpt J loved the attention and I am sure did nothing to discourage it. Did he have an actual physical affair? Not positive. Did he have emotional relationships? Most definitely. They all went out to local bars together, ate together, grocery shopped together. He was wrong, he knows he was wrong and we broke up several times over it.
There is a lot more to the story of how we got to where we are today. If you have been with me for a while I don't need to repeat it all. I just really felt compelled to get it off my chest once again that I can't stand the world of niavety that some people live in. You cannot truly give an opinion or tell someone what to do unless you have been in this industry for quite some time. I feel sorry for these women that will come back to the forums in a few months or year and cry that it has happened to them. Ah, whew - thanks for the vent.
Now I have Cpt J home every night and have gotten to know a lot of the crew. I am more confident in myself and the years have been good to us. I still keep an eye open and I ask a lot of questions. Some of my best girlfriends are married to pilots and fortunately we all seem to see things the same way. We have all been bitten in some way at some point on this journey....
By the way - my neighbor owns a contracting company. Turns out he has been having an affair for 2 years with a woman that he has been doing "work" for. Pretty convenient eh?
Cpt J's Tough Wife
13 minutes ago
6 comments:
i can't help but find this disturbing as i really do trust my pilot with everything in me... and he thinks most of these little girls are complete morons. i guess i'm one of the lucky ones!
I feel like I am a lucky one too, we were together way before he got into the industry and I know most of the crew members he flies with .. I dont know, I am not naive to what happens with some vrew members - although it seems in my experience to be with the younger FA's and FO's. but if a person is going to cheat, they are goign to cheat, no matter what the profession.
personally I dont read most of those forums b/c it semms its mostly "girlfriends" worried about "boyfriends" and quite frankly its all a little immature for my tastes.
I have found some friendships with some pretty awesome pilot wives and none of us EVER worry about this stuff and I can assure you we dont live in a bubble.
perhaps its all like the self fullfilling prophecy, the more a person worries and nags about this kind of stuff the more likely the other person will just "do it"
I think, inevitably, all our views on this are going to be based on our experiences. Luckily, I've never had to deal with infidelity with my husband. I trust him completely, and he me. I know, of course, that many men and women go on to betray that trust, but I also don't think that, at least in my situation, it helps to think the worst either. I'm very lucky not to have these feelings, I know.
Mind you, not worrying about infidelity is not the same thing as not feeling lonely and pissed off your husband's on a beach somewhere while you're at home doing the ironing. Now that's another thing altogether!
I totally agree with you that people who never worry are just kidding themselves... We ALL have our insecure days-even if we don't climb to the top of a tower and shout about it... I too get hacked off reading about the comments from women who 'preach' about how these women should blindly trust their men. We are all human (even pilots)... Given the wrong situation, and the wrong stimuli (usually alcohol, jet-lag, young, horny FA's and a crappy argument with his wife-a pilot on stop over would probably have to be a saint, impotent or very very strong willed not to seccumb.
Bf knows this, and avoids situations where one thing could lead to another... So does he cheat on me-no... Is this because I am a goddess and he is a saint, NO. It's because we're mindful after having encountered humbling experiences.
I applaud you for putting your opinions out there and being so open!
And to anyone who thinks they are totally comfortable with their pilot's fidelity-would you be happy for your partner to get blind drunk at a room party with a bunch of horny flirtatious FA's? If your answer is yes-then you're naive or a fool
I just came across your post and I have to agree with you!!
While I do trust my pilot with all my heart, I can't fight of that small little devil that sits on my shoulder and says "what if..."
I hate thinking about the future when he goes to places like Singapore and Bangkok. I've heard way too many stories about what the pilots do in those cities. All I can do it hope for the best though and try to trust my guy as much as I can.
I love the partnerofapilot comment about getting him in a room drunk with all the FAs. NO FREAKING WAY!! I've told him MANY times... "I trust YOU, I just don't trust THEM" Many girls have a way of getting what they want and that's what freaks me out!
I just hope I never am faced with a REAL lack of trust for any validated reason.
I have been married to my pilot for 13 years, and although I have not had to deal with cheating issues, I do know what you mean about the anger. Most of the time I am fine with the trips he goes on becasue I am really busy with my life,and two kids. But there are times when I feel resentful that I am dealing with the day to day and he is mexico sitting on the beach, reading a book and really who knows. He is a great man and husband that I want to smack on occasion.I cant talk to anyone because they dont understand the dynamics, I am either a bitch, or I get the "I feel sorry for you" look. I have taken to finding blogs of other pilot wives, and am so happy that I am not alone, and that I am normal for feeling like this at times. I have a love/hate relationship with his career, Most of the time I love it, opportunites,financial,the time at home, and even the time away, but there are those times when the loneliness creeps in, and I wish he were a banker!
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